livelaughawesome asked: Wow, you're really making me think and thank you so much for that!I like that we can have a super respectful conversation and dialogue about this! From reading more on STFUbiphobia it seems like bisexuality and pansexuality, in terms of perspectives from the bisexual community, are simply just different labels that have the same or similar definitions. Similar to the selfidentifying terms of "lesbian" and "dyke" and "gay woman" that I hear from different members of the lesbian community (cont'd)
I guess that my dialogue about definitions does imply that definitions are useless or something, but I see definitions as a personal or group thing of: “when i say this word, it’s what i mean” which, once again, I understand can seem kind of ridiculous in terms of trying to educate people. //
I definitely understand now how that definition reinforced negative attitudes, but in my own personal opinion (and not the opinion of the organization I run), I think it’s ridiculous that being attracted to binary genders is thought of as binarist or trans*phobic. Gay men being attracted to only men isn’t thought of as sexist. We can’t help who we are attracted to, and I think it’s a little odd to tell somebody who is only attracted to binary genders that they are binarist. But maybe that’s only something that I think, idk.
The thing that you said about looking to define for others really makes sense to me, and I think that that difference (defining for yourself vs. defining for others) is something that I didn’t really notice before, so it’s really cool and helpful that you helped me think about that. I also really like this, and it’s making me think: “It’s too easy for a definition to become a slur, when negative implications are accepted as truth.” Basically, I just want to thank you so much for talking with me about this! We’ll definitely be talking about changing our bisexual definition at our next meeting.
Bold emphasis is mine because SERIOUSLY READ THOSE FUCKING WORDS. THAT THAT THAT SO MUCH.
…Now that I’m done spazzing out, I want to thank you as well for being so thoughtful and respectful, as well as specifically going and educating yourself when our discussion made you pause and examine your thought processes. I mean seriously, that is an extraordinary trait, and you are incredible. I never expected to talk to someone about this and have such a positive, productive response.
Seriously, it means so much to me, and I’m sure to other bisexuals who might read this, to encounter someone who really is seeking to think about the way they speak on equal rights within the community. It is so frustrating how often I encounter members of the queer community who are careless or callous to bisexual concerns for visibility or stigma.
I deeply appreciate the consideration you’ve shown throughout this discussion. Seriously. Like, more than I can really express.