so yesterday during thanksgiving my nephew was kinda being a little shit in the way that it is totally normal for kids to be shits
i.e. griping about his mom not letting him get cool clothes (skinny jeans) or highlights in his hair, and pausing every so often to bust on his siblings for various things
and you know, i was just sitting there occasionally throwing out a comment like hey you can make whatever you wear cool tho, you don’t have to follow fashion bc you’re the cool kid you’re the one who makes it fashionable and chastising him a little when he’d bust on his siblings if it was warranted like if he got out of hand and was just being cruel or rude with it
and just like all of that was fine but at some point the rest of the family i guess started busting on him i guess as a way to deter how he was treating his mother and his siblings, which i don’t really think is the proper approach in the first place
but the thing i really couldn’t handle is that all of the approach to discouraging from this behavior was really just gender policing. instead of discouraging him from the actually negative behavior, the consensus became making fun of his interest in fashionable choices by implying he’d start wanting to wear his sister’s stylish boots, or play with barbies.
how is that okay?
how am i the only adult in the room that understood how that was just bullying? a bunch of adults picking on a little boy? how is that right?
i couldn’t say anything, bc it was thanksgiving, and it’s not my side of the family, so i’d just be ruining the mood, or telling someone how to raise their kid. i had to go upstairs bc i was going to end up saying something if i stayed and i knew i couldn’t do that.
i just feel so tiny. i know that what i saw was just what he’s going to encounter in the world no matter what. if it didn’t happen in that room it would happen in a classroom, or at a friend’s house. but i want so much to help him feel loved, and accepted, and able to do things he wants to do without feeling like he needs to bring anyone else down in the process. but all he sees is adults using abusive tactics to make their point, and encouraging negative associations with women that will further encourage the negative treatment of his sister.